I want to speak about your relationship particularly your marriage relationship. For so strong on my heart, when I was preparing this message. Get your life be orderly plan your life. don’t just live your life anyhow. plan to succeed. plan to please God. plan to finish strong. plan to disappoint your enemies. a planned life is a meaningful life. for example let’s look at your marriage. those of you that are single pays close attention. once you are going to get married it determines everything. if you will success as a manager your home will determining it.
How To Plan For A Good Relationship And Marriage
If you don’t have peace at home forget about it. you’ll be confused at work. if you will succeed as a pastor you need in home a platform. that’s your nest. that’s where you rest and from there you launch out. watch it many many people that failed today go travel to their marriages and see. there are two leaders in this nation and I’m free to mention their name because they are public figure. one of them is Obafemi Awolowo. If you are a nigerian you know what I’m talking about. that man was a living legend. I don’t know about this relationship with God and the other one was MKO Abiola. both of them are dead today but look at what is on ground for the two of them. one belongs to many wives. the other belong to one wife. see what is on ground. Awolowo died how many years ago. his life is still speaking. see MKO Abiola. where is concord airline today.
Where is Concord bread. where is concord newspaper. where is concord everything. nobody to manage it. because our own is different from my own. so those of you young young people that are going for two two girlfriends. three three girlfriends. you date one today. look at this two example before you take a flight. you better zip up. at 29 you have slept with 4 girls. what’s your problem. you’ve be sleeping with girls since you’re fourteen. what’s your problem. and some of you are from polygamous certain you know the trouble that you still have in your father’s house. is that what you want to inherit it. do you need a preacher to tell that is wrong. tell me one single good thing about polygamy. polygamy is a waster of destiny. waster and it begins with dating five girls on campus. so it enters your blood. after marriage you cannot keep yourself. you must go and look after. and I’ve noticed that adulterous men always marry fine girls. so you ask yourself what is this man looking for. his wife is beautiful. it’s demonic. you better be disciplined.
So that what kills them in your father’s house will not kill you. i’m speaking the truth. look for somebody that we’ll share a common faith with you. don’t marry somebody that does not share the same faith with you. go for the people that that share the same faith with me. not idol worshipers let me tell you something that will shock you. in marriage you cannot renovate to your taste.
I will convert her. I will change my wife. you cannot renovate to your taste. your wife can never be like you. you will always be different. I’ve been married for 28 years. your husband cannot be exactly like you. you can’t renovate to your taste. so you better close one eye in prayer. open the. the one you will open let it be wider. so that you look very well before you choose. marriage is not a weekend affair it is a lifetime event. it determines everything. it determines everything. in marriage people continue who they are. they hardly change. there’s no compromise about that. you see that man.
It’s only two bottles of gudda he drinks. he will change when we start singing in the choir. I would take him to church. you are joking. people hardly change in marriage they remain who they are. it is the truth. so if you notice it when you are dating the person or when you are in courtship you better reconsider and don’t tell me he will change. he smokes only 1. 1 packet. 1 stick of cigarette removes 11 minutes from your life. scientific fact. one stick of cigarette removes subtract 11 minutes from your life. so if you think you are enjoying you are dying. you are not enjoying. so look for somebody that we share common faith with you. for instance how you spend your money. you are a born again Christian and you believe in paying of tithe and you marry somebody doesn’t believe in that. there’ll be a crisis. because how you spend your money depend on your faith. the kid decisions of life are based on faith. don’t dance around unbelievers. don’t abandon your faith for marriage.
Marry somebody that loves God like you do. seek God’s counsel. seek God’s guidance. marriage is a very long journey. without God the choice may look good today but it will turn out to be a bad tomorrow. seek God’s guidance. what do you sense in your spirit. is there peace in your heart. if there is agitation be careful. because you will live with that agitation for the rest of your life. and this is the foundation or one of the foundations. look for somebody who can share with you what they have. don’t marry a stingy person. any stingy person is bad news. in courtship you are the only person given given given. the person is stingy. it’s a signal that there is trouble ahead.
Married people that that have stingy people as their spouses can testify to what I’m talking about. when giving is one sided it can be frustrating. marriage is sharing. it is not a one-way traffic. a stingy man is an irresponsible man. if the market is going to be good it shows in the morning. so the early indications are very important. don’t marry a man that knows only how to how to massacre food. each time he visited you. he clears everything. just eat and eat and eat. nothing. no handkerchief for you. no my dear. can you this. can I contribute to this. he cough and he demolishes the food. that is it. he cough where are you. he calculates the time you will be cooking. a stingy man is an irresponsible man. and you will see the early indications before you going into marriage. many lives are not meaningful today because of this. they saw it but they thought im 32. better stay single that be frustrated all the days of your life. right from courtship. days of friendship days of dating. that’s what you call it today you can see the indicators.
How the person takes up task. professional task. domestic task. family task. by God’s grace I have two boys biologically speaking and I tell them every time use me to rehearse. because when I meet a man the way you handle your mother is the way you’re likely to handle your wife. I teach them to hug me. I teach them to allow me go before the car. in case we need to pass through a passage. I teach them how to treat a lady. use me to rehearse because every woman want something from a man. you can see an irresponsible man. you can see the indicator.
For example both of you are in school he won’t go for lecture. he won’t write his assignment. he sneezes and dozes you can tell that this one has. you don’t have any future with him if your life is going to be meaningful avoid this irresponsible lazy person. avoid. in marriage you can see when you. whether you’re a man or a woman. how nit are you. these are indicators. do you dress your bed together. even in small matters like that. some husbands when they wake up they just they just wake up. father I thank you for today have you laid your bed before you started talking to God.
Or it is only your wife that lays the bed every morning. it’s a sign of irresponsibility. your wife is not a slave. 28 years running till this morning my husband holds the bed sheet on the other side. I hold it on this side. he hold the quilt. I hold it on this side. we lay it together. sometimes he even lays it but I’m not there. if we go to your bedroom now what happens.
You will see a rat just lets his bed. everything scattered because you were running late. your wife is not your slave. who says that is only a woman that should lay the bed. and every mother you teach your boys. teach them to wash plates. if you have if you have house helps and you use your house helps to pamper your children. I fear for your children’s future. I fear for them because there are things money cannot buy. your boys must be able to cook. must be able to pound. must be able to lay their beds. must be able to make their rooms. clean their bathrooms. very important. if both of you don’t know how to lay bed don’t marry. because there will be problem. you won’t believe this a couple came to report. you know they had a misunderstanding. they’re be having series and when they were talking. the man said when my wife wakes up she will only lay her side of the bed.
I said is that. is there a marriage like. things are happen in this world oh. she will only lay her side of the bed and she will sweep only her side of the bed. uhm. somebody shout. im blessed. don’t marry a lazy woman. rebecca carried her pitcher on her shoulders. a lazy lady is a burden. in pregnancy you will see hell. I want to sneeze. ah ah because of pregnancy. she can’t carry leg.
She can’t carry eye. she can’t carry anything. because of pregnancy. don’t marry a lazy person. a poor person is better than a lazy person. biblicaly and culturally the man plays the most significant role. because you are the head. men made decisions at very short notice. your wife depends on you. you make decisions financially. so you can afford to shack your responsibilities. do up keep of your wife and children. you know that the children bear your name. so if they are yours. you must pay their school fees. as a man at least these two major things school fees and house rent. because if you are the head of the home and you are not paying house rent which house are you headed. it is a manly responsibility even if your wife can pay it. you cannot be the head of a house you are not paying rent for. what kind of head are you. food water telephone dress both of you can share. but school fees and house rent. even if your wife can pay. make up your mind she can assist you as a man but don’t let those two be on her head.
If you want to maintain your honor as the head. your wife may decide to supplement but you must carry the responsibilities on your shoulders. the upkeep of the house is the woman’s responsibility. the sign of a clean house is the toilet not the living room. and I come to your house and I want to use the restroom say pastor wait wait I’m coming and you run. I know you’re a very lazy woman. if you must go and see the toilet before a guest uses it then something is wrong with you as a woman. your toilet should be so clean that people feel like lying down and eating in your toilet. it is your responsibility. it’s not your husband’s responsibility as a woman. your kitchen a dirty house is a shame to the woman of the house. Marry the person you are physically attracted to. you may not have too many dresses but in the way you dress that makes you look attractive.
As a woman and as a man. when some men sit beside you in church and they make the mistake of removing their shoes you will feel like vomiting. when you visit some ladies at home white under has become maroon. makeup is there but underneath stench. a woman must always make sure that her underneath is clean in case something happens and you faint. and they have to carry you in church. with all this masquerade. with all this makeup. when you wake up some people will be bold enough to tell you sister you need to change. somebody shout i’m blessed know the family you are marrying into. some families they are very pompous. don’t marry them oo don’t marry from there. in some families everybody is poor because of laziness. so you don’t know them in that family. they don’t work o. they only drink wine every morning. it’s ogogro. it’s some families there is somebody that controls them.
It may be the matriarch of the home the mother. so find out the family before you going into it. Don’t just say yes it is well so that you can know how to pray. may be husbands died before they are 40 in that family. maybe it is mummy that controls the homes. mummy will send for son-in-law come here. it’s my 70. if you don’t come. you know there are some mother that are so strong with and you know even their sons shake like Lily. even in spite of the fact that they are married. so that you know how to take your stand and then you will know how to pray. know the family. some of them are womanizers so that you know how to break the yoke.
The the first son impregnated somebody after two years of his marriage so three women have four children for him. the third bond uh slept with the house help and it became a scandal. even their father is just that he didn’t marry the woman. when stories like that. don’t just put your head in that kind of family. pray so that you will eliminate and stop the evil once you are convinced that it is God’s will for your life. when you notice tracks of family weakness some people they always divorce. find out and the last one is there room in your house for me because the Bible says in Genesis chapter 24 that Rebecca said come in there is provender for you and the camels.
will the family accept you will there be parental consent please don’t elope with anybody. you will need your parents after marriage .